I’m writing in English so Tomo kun can read it too.
So. Very recently when I was helping Tomo kun to move out, I received a series of hate-messages through ask.fm. Now if you don’t know what ask.fm is, you should try it. It’s a social media platform where you can ask people or send messages, completely anonymously. If I choose to not answer the questions, they wouldn’t show up anywhere else except on my own dashboard. Only if I answer the questions, will the questions (together with my answer) show up on my profile.
So yeah. I received 8 hate-chain-messages through ask.fm. But I wasn’t even mad, it was even kinda funny tbh. First of all, it was sent by an anonymous.
I felt like, “Oh, this must be what Justin Bieber felt when some cowards threw an empty bottle on him from the crowds.”
Yep, the first thought that went through my mind was, you are an insignificant anonymous so why should I care about what you think of me? Last time I checked, I wasn’t born to please you.
Second thought was, what did you expect to gain from trying to bring me down? I believe you know you’d fail even before you tried. I am so proud of myself I am borderline cocky. And I don’t deny it– why would I? It’s the truth. I have so much pride on myself that not even my mom can bring me down.
Anyway, I have promised to reply, so here are my replies. I will try to not sound too cocky, but if I end up sounding cocky please know that I’m not even sorry.
You teach people how to be lovable, but you yourself is not lovable. The first time I read your piece I thought you’re an alpha female: pretty, sexy, smart and coy, but also low profile eventhough your words are bitter. Turns out, even your appearance is not yet maximum, your answers are more like a kid who, okay, smart, but COCKY, not a classy smart.
Is it my fault that you thought I am alpha female who’s pretty, sexy, smart, low profile, etc etc etc? Is it my fault that you created your own image of me and it turns out that I don’t live up to YOUR standard?
I am not an alpha female and I choose to not present myself as one. I am far from low profile cos I am very proud of myself. I like to brag cos I am proud of my life, my boyfriend, and how I have beaten lots of things in my past just to get to where I am now. You just didn’t know me well enough when you thought I was low profile.
And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my fault that you subjectively created a different version of me in your mind. The version that is most probably not true cos you never spent time with me, and/or know what I had been through, and/or know completely my way of thinking.
If you teach people to be lovable, you’re supposed to be the GOD OF LOVABLES so people can trust what you said. Your boyfriend supposed to be super handsome, smart, perfect. You’re supposed to be modern and make people envy you, your way of speaking should be soft, classy, loving, stern. But even your hairstyle is lame, you don’t have any sex appeal, the way you speak is like an uneducated kid.
Please know that I chuckled a lot reading this one. You are like a little kid who just realized that God is not as kind as you’ve always believed Him to be.
How do I start, here, I wonder.
I don’t need to be a God to wake girls up from their stupidity. I helped people. I prevented people from suiciding. I saved lifes. And that is a truth I won’t let you tell me otherwise. And in that is my strength, my force. And that was what kept me going eventhough each and every single day I grew very tired and sick of how people’s stupidity knows no bound.
And about my boyfriend should be perfect, handsone, smart.. Again you’re drowned in your delusions, and it was so funny. I mean, of course he’s not perfect. Who in the world is? But he’s a perfect match for me, and your approval is not needed because the relationship I’m building with him doesn’t include you.
He’s the guy who established his company in Indonesia alone, 3 years ago, without the ability to speak bahasa, without many friends, without anyone telling him where to go and/or what to do. He’s the kind of guy who brings a community to life and make sure it stays alive. He’s the kind of guy who achieved his monthly target on the 9th day of the month. He’s the kind of guy who lets me sit on the sofa and still takes care of all orderings in restaurants even though his bahasa is not good.
He’s a very very very capable guy, that it made me laugh when I read how you tried to underestimate him. Just you go try to win his heart like I did. I bet my life on your lost.
Next is about my hairstyle. Lol. This is a hairstyle of a girl who is tired of people’s shit. It’s simple and easy to take care of and … why am I defending my hairstyle?? Hahaha. You’ve never touched it so of course you didn’t know how soft it feels. And I don’t blame you for that, I’m just sorry for you.
Next is about my sex appeal. Well. If you’re a girl then of course it’s very natural that I don’t have any sex appeal to you. Especially if I didn’t intend to show that side of me in front of you when we met. Again, why am I even defending my sex appeal? You’ve never seen me when I’m seducing my guy, so of course you didn’t understand. And again, I don’t blame you for this.
I admit that all your theories are right. But in real life, why are you disappointing? We need a figure of a lovable lady who’s kind and speaks elegantly, not like some tacky thug rude teenager senior. Is it even possible that you don’t know how to speak the bitter truth but still sound LOVABLE? Don’t know how to? Why didn’t you do it?
You only get disappointed if your expectations are too high. I’ve always said that you should ALWAYS expect bullshit. ALWAYS. You said all my theories are true, so why didn’t you practice this theory too? It will help you getting out of your unhealthy delusions.
I don’t know how to speak the bitter truth and still sound lovable, that is true. I don’t know how to speak of some shit as if they are edible. Shit is shit no matter how sweet I describe it. And the more effort I’ll put if I sweet talk, the more I will have to burn myself just to make other people feel a teeny weeny bit of comfort in their shitty situation.
I am not a saint. And I never intended to present myself as a candle in the dark, bringing hope and comfort and maybe a bit of a fresh air in the middle of people’s shitty situation. No. I’m hostile. I AM hostile. Why would I change myself only to please people?
If I have to drown you in shit in order to make you struggle and fight for yourself, then I will. I won’t just easily give you fresh air to breathe, not unless you fight for it yourself.
When asked, I will always tell the truth and I promise you won’t be alone in hating me for it. But I am not sorry and I don’t care if I hurt your sensitive ass while telling the truth. If I were you I would just man up and swallow it.
Plus, what good can come from giving people hope that their relationships are worth trying, when in fact it is not?
I think I would want to believe more if the coach is someone like Pevita Pearce / Chelsea Islan. Why? Because their life has shown that they are LOVE-ABLE. Not speaking rudely, act bold and tomboy, in the end looks like a little kid. I have not seen a LADY inside of you yet. How you present yourself and the way you speak, even in social media.
If Pevita Pearce and/or Chelsea Islan ever decided to coach people how to be lovable, trust me I would be nothing but very happy.
I am just a nameless normal girl who is not perfect and not a celebrity but even with my capabilities I did save lifes. Can you imagine how many more lifes can celebrities like them help, should they ever decided to coach?
But trust me, they won’t.
They won’t have time to even listen and of course they don’t care if your boyfriend is ignoring you. You see, they and I, we have a difference. They exist to be loved and gawked at, and they poop rainbows and fart perfumes. On the other hand, I’m the black sheep who has not enough patient to lick your wounds.
I am not trying to make people love me, I’m trying to make people think and love themselves. If in the process of making people STAND UP for themselves include tearing down their beliefs and slapping them awake from their dreams, I wouldn’t think twice, I’d do it.
And in all this I never put people’s judgement in my mind. I don’t care if I am hated for what I make girls do. I believe what I am doing is right and I take pride in waking girls up.
But what about you? What have you done for those girls, if I may ask? And how many people have you helped? Was there even ANYONE who ever thanked you for saving their lifes, for waking them up, for teaching them to be a fighter, for empowering them, for making them found themselves and picked themselves up and continued living?
I put those girls’ images in frames and hang them nicely in my mind as a reminder that my work mattered–no matter how much you hated it.
If I have to choose between being likeable / lovable to you, or to be hated but can still make some difference, I wouldn’t think twice to kick your sorry ass.
Even your IG is not interesting, using too many hashtags like alay(?), no one’s complimenting you, are you not popular? HOW can we trust what you preach if even from small stuff like this you are not proven worthy? Lovable Lady? Alpha Female? One who makes every kinds of girls jealous (one who’s smart, pretty, sexy) because you have everything with a BIGGER size?
Now this is just too sad for me to reply. You’ve pushed your limit, trying too hard to bring me down. This argument is just too low and pointless.
But since I’ve promised to answer, so okay, let me try ne.
Everyone uses hashtags. Why in the world am I not allowed to? Only because I write and coach sometimes, I’m supposed to be instantly famous and gorgeous and have big boobs and butts and being the SEX BOMB every guys drool at?
Only because I teach people to love themselves, to fight for themselves, to be proud and wise, I’m supposed to not use hashtags on my IG feeds? What? LOL.
I don’t intend to make people jealous of my life or my appearance. I can just pay for a whole body plastic surgery to be the SEX GOD you must thought I must be, but what’s the point in that? In no time I will have wrinkles, my body will decay and I will die. Why would I want bigger size in anything?
And btw I still can’t see the correlation of my IG feeds and how lovable I am. This is just too low for me to debate. I mean OMG why am I even arguing about this. This discussion must have just lowered the IQ of the whole neighborhood.
Why is your picture look like a lame guy who’s smart but nerdy, can’t even pose? If you have every moves to be a lovable lady, your boyfriend should have been handsome, intelectual, looks respectable, his hair shouldn’t be like a university student who just got rained on being scold by the tutor please. You must be able to get the type of guy I mentioned, right? You’re lovable, no?
I can’t believe I have to respond to something so low. Again I feel like the IQ of the whole neighborhood just dropped. But I have made a stupid promise to answer, so I will try.
First of all, you don’t know a single thing about him. How can you underestimate him using such shallow arguments?
You’re just a bystander who (even though you think he’s so lame) won’t ever have high enough quality to earn you the right to judge such an awesome guy. Even if you try to your whole life and even in the life after this.
He looks like a nerd and he can’t pose. These qualities, you thought were flaws? You must be joking. I love these qualities.
He’s a geek means he’s just so honest and he can’t pose means he doesn’t put on masks. He doesn’t play around, he’s serious, he’s a hardworker, he’s a leader, he’s a builder, he’s someone whose words I can trust and he will never betray me. He’s highly respectable, and even in his circle of friends his demeanor never changes. He lives up to his values and I highly admire him for that.
He’s the kind of guy who make things happen. He’s a guy who respects me, takes care of me no matter how busy he is, thinks of me, protects me, and brings my senses to life.
Why would I change him for someone who, according to you, might be better looking?
Winning him is like winning a jackpot. And this is my life I choose my boyfriend based on MY taste not yours. I will love the qualities I love not the qualities you thought is better. Even if I have the power to attract the most beautiful most sexiest most perfect GOD, I will not settle with YOUR standards. I make my own standards and if you don’t like it why should I care? You should just go gawk at Chelsea Olivia and Glenn instead.
Once again, this is my life and this is my relationship and I chose him myself. no matter how many other options I had / have / will have, I would still choose him. And in the life after this I will find him again and still choose him. Problem?
Please oppose all my arguments please, I ask you to. Please pretty please, because I asked, please oppose all my arguments and invalid statements here. Please stand up for yourself and give the reasons. Don’t just answer like a teenager “Wooow, finally I have haters” “Ooh so this is how it feels to have a hater”. Okay? Now answer 🙂
I’ve answered, your highness. I’ve fed your ego now? You happy now?
But please note that I answered your hate-messages not only because I have promised to do it, and also because I’m concerned. You sure took the time to write all these hate messages. Means either you didn’t have anything better to do, or you have some huge grudge / complaints / bitterness and you need to let them out.
But even if you really had some complaints, your arguments are so shallow that it didn’t hurt me at all. I was even tickled by it. Why would you put up such lame arguments and try to bring me down? Did you really think I would be hurt or angry or sad because of some insignificant person’s comments?
Well I was a bit angry when you include my boyfriend in it. I can play with you in this sea of shit but it’s just too unclassy to bring a guy like him into this mud. He deserves respect not only because he’s my boyfriend, but because he does deserve respect.
As for me, if you hate me then it’s completely your choice and I will not try to change it. I won’t ask you to respect me, you can underestimate me all you want, and you can even spread rumors about how I never take morning showers–I don’t care even a bit.
Only some privileged people and I knew my whole life story and how I think. And only them are the ones who have the power to make me question myself.
If this makes me not lovable enough for you, well forgive me my highness for I have sinned. Joking. I don’t care a bit and you can go screw yourself.
Success in helping your boyfriend moving out, hope you can be in good relationship with all other porters/couriers. Also please send my message to your boyfriend, tell him you are worthy. You should have got an alpha male guy who can pay people to lift stuff so you and him can just relax and stay back. If not, just leave him!
I don’t have to answer this one, right?
I do? But it will sound like I’m bragging and it won’t be so pretty.
He IS an alpha male who has a very exclusive circle of friends who helped him without even expecting payment. Including me. His friends and I helped him and didn’t expect anything in return, because he earns our respect and we WANTED to help him. Our help to him was a gift, a medal, a token of appreciation for him for being the kind of person he is.
Oh, are you one of those people who NEED to pay people so they’d help you? If so, you’d never understand having people who’s always at your beck and call, always ready to help.
Sorry to hear that, really.
And do I even have to mention how rich he is, only to get your approval? Dream on, kid. As always, your approval is never needed. He’s far too high for little minds to fathom.
Now go screw yourself.