Like I’m Gonna Lose You

I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you.
I’m gonna hold you like we’re saying goodbye.

Truth is, I’m scared. I’m insecure. I’m unsure.
Well I mean, I know I am strong. I just never wish I would ever have to show how strong I am, again.

I already knew that things are not gonna be easy, but I just never knew how hard it’s gonna be. Though I’ve always known that even though things don’t work out and I end up hurting again, I will be okay. Things might not be good, but everything will be okay.

I trust myself so much that I know, if I fail and fall I will always be able to stand up again. Despite that, I still hope I won’t fail.

…Oh God.

I really hope I won’t fail. I really want things to work out. I really really really hope so.

So you’re probably wondering what I’m worrying about. But I guess you guessed it. I’m worrying about my relationship and my future.

Funny, I talk a lot and councel lots of people about relationship, yet that still doesn’t protect me from all the imperfections in relationships. Well. Actually my relationship is pretty perfect. He’s the right guy, the right age, the right mind. It’s just the situation is not too right. It’s difficult. It’s not easy.

However, I keep reminding myself that he’s a man that I chose consciously. I decided consciously that I will love this guy. So I will. No matter how messed up is the future that is waitingfor us, if there’s a chance for us to work things out, we will work things out. I trust him this much. While at the same time I also trust myself: That I’m worth it.

We will be okay. Might not be perfect, but we’re gonna be at least okay. We wont be less than okay. We will be okay.

One comment

  1. Kev d'Salvo · December 3, 2015

    Bismillah.. I hope things will be better for you…

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