Before you start reading this, let me warn you:
This post is about my feelings towards my partner.
If you think you’re not ready with all the cheesy lovey dovey descriptions then please move on to another post :p
“I like my friends more, after seeing how they have been treating you everytime you are with us. —I mean, everytime they are with us.”
Beberapa bulan lalu, gue abis ketemu sama “nyokap” nya Tomo. Bukan nyokap beneran, tapi selama Tomo di Jakarta orang ini lah yang sering ngurusin Tomo, jadi mereka udah kayak keluarga gitu. She seems very kind, loving, and full of love. I really love the vibe she has around her. Meskipun ketika sebelum ke sana dan awal-awal ketemu dia gue nervous pake banget, it ended up pretty well. I think. Haha.
Funny thing is, ketika gw udah berdua doank sama Tomo, gw nanya Tomo ‘how was it do you think? was I okay?’ dan at the same time ada text masuk ke HP Tomo dari si nyokap. Yang ternyata si nyokap juga nanya pertanyaan yang sama ke Tomo. Hahahaha, so we were both nervous.
Anyway, tujuan gue kali ini nulis di sini sebenernya adalah untuk mengabadikan kalimat Tomo yang di atas itu. Karna Tomo ngomongnya santaaaaaaii banget, very casual, tapi ketika dia ngoreksi dirinya sendiri, rasanya kayak dia ngasih tau gw prioritas dia. Karna beda konotasinya “kamu lagi sama kami” dengan “mereka lagi sama kita”. You get what I mean?
Kalau dia bilang gue lagi sama mereka, itu artinya gue outsidernya. Kalo kebalikannya, berarti mereka outsidernya. Orang luarnya. Pemain figurannya. Pelengkap suasananya. So, the meaning is different.
The Little Things He Does
Talking about “gentleman”-ity, for sure I can say I don’t know much. I’m not used to having a guy open up a door for me, or hold my bag for me, or whatever. I am unable to list the characteristics of a “gentleman”, probably because I’m not used to be treated as special.
With my very limited experience of being treated as special, being with Tomo kun is a whole new experience for me. I don’t know if it’s in his culture or if his manner is just really adorable, but from what he does I am always reminded that I am a special person to him.
For instance, like when he carefully chose his words and correct his self to show his priority. That’s just one out of a whole bunch of other things he does daily, and he just never fails to amaze, flatter, and touch me.
Like He Knows I Expect Nothing but He Still Gives Anyway
Let’s start with the very first time he got me interested in him. I mean, of course I have been interested in him ever since we first started chatting. He’s sweetly awkward and smart and all that. But what I meant by “he got me interested”, is the moment when he got me decided to focus on him.
At that time we just started talking for about a week or so. Even though it had only been a week, but since we talked pretty intensely, we got quite close quite fast.
At that time he needed to go out of country for a business trip. The last time he texted me was when he was already on the plane. He had said it would take 4 hours for him to get to his destination, and he might not be able to text me afterwards because he wouldn’t have internet connection there. And he will be too busy to text anyway.
So after we said goodbye, I didn’t expect to hear from him again until probably the next day when he’s not too busy or when he’s already arrived at the hotel and get a wi-fi.
Hours went by as I counted. It was 5 hours already since he took off, but there’s no text from him yet. I suppose at that time he might have reached the hotel already and got wi-fi. But since he didn’t text me I decided that he’s probably just very very busy like he said he would be. So I just text some other people to distract me from him.
Around 10 PM (11 PM where he was) I was ready to sleep, a text from him arrived.
“I just stopped by a cafe to get wi-fi.. Very unstable though.”
“There’s no wifi where you’re staying?”
“No. So I at least wanted to say good night.”
He stopped by a cafe to get a wi-fi just to say good night to me. What did I do to deserve that?
A few days after that he bought a mobile wi-fi like bolt. But since he was very casual about it, I was a bit curious and teasingly asked “Is it too much for me to think that you bought the mobile wi-fi so you can chat with me?”
“That’s exactly why I bought it.”
I mean, cmon! What did I do to deserve to be treated like that? Is it just me or is he actually really really sweet? I mean, as I’ve said before, I don’t usually get treated this way. Like I’m significant. I matter.
Like He Knows I’m Strong but Treats Me Like I’m Fragile
The stopping-by-to-get-wifi thing was the start of it all. From then on, I started to focus on him and started to put attention to his actions. He’s more of a shy and awkward guy, but he’s very thoughtful and sincere. He’s straightforward, but not to the point where he brags about what he does or why he does things. So if I don’t question, he doesn’t feel the need to point his actions out.
There’s this one time when our hands were locked together while we were on a taxi. His hands were above mine for a few minutes before he let it go and put his hand underneath mine. I giggled and asked, “What? Why did you change position? Does this feel different?”
He then said that when his hand was above mine, he had to hold it up a little so he won’t crush my hand with his hand’s weight. At first it was okay but after a few minutes his hand got tired, that’s why he changed the position.
This also made me speechless. Come to think of it, it’s true that it’s unusual to have his hand above mine while we hold hands. So that’s the reason. なるほど.
Like He Knows I Can Manage but Assures Me He Got This
This is also another little thing that I like about him: His seating preference. I noticed how when we sit together in a restaurant, he will always choose the seats facing a wall and let me sit on the seat in front of him, facing a more open view.
So there’s this one time he waited for me in a restaurant, but he sat on a seat facing the wall. When I got there I immediately sat on the sofa facing him. I was curious why he didn’t just sit on the sofa, we can just sit next to each other. And since that wasn’t the first time he has an odd seating preference, I decided to ask him..
“That’s just lady first. You should sit on the couch or a bigger chair, or whatever it is. Or you should sit at the end, not depan. So I can take care of ordering and all.”
God, once again, what did I do to deserve this?
It’s true that he always takes care of the ordering and everything. So I always just tell him what I want and he will take care of the ordering. Even though, I mean, this is Indonesia and he doesn’t speak a word of Bahasa. And I could just call the waiter and talk more fluently and get what we want. I believe he knows that, yet he still wants to do it himself.
Warm, Fuzzy Feelings.
Maybe I’m still in that stage of relationship where everything feels like flowers and chocolate. Every time I think of him, and I do mean EVERY TIME I think of him, I would smile. I like this guy very much. And even though I don’t really pray, but I do hope that this one can last. ❤